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JOKES COLLECTION

Software Engineer jokes in Bengali - Click here (PDF)

 

1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found

2 hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without

3 wasting company time talking to his colleagues. Bob never

4 thinks twice before assisting his fellow employees and he always

5 finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended

6 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee

7 breaks. Bob is an individual with absolutely no

8 vanity inspite of his high accomplishments and profound

9 knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be

10 a high caliber employee, the type which cannot be

11 dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be

12 promoted to executive management and any blocks for this proposal be

13 removed as soon as possible.

Addendum sent after an hour:

That idiot was standing over my shoulders when I was writing the report. Kindly re-read only the odd numbered lines of the report.

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You are an American when you are a

High school drop-out

Have so bad handwriting, that even you yourself cannot figure out what you have written

Use tough English jargons while speaking but need calculator to add 1 and 1

Cannot spell "sincerity" but expect foreign students to learn words like "pugnacious", "pusillamonious" and "punctilious" before admitting them to your university

Pronounce "schedule" as "skejule" and pronounce "t" in "often" and suggestion"

At least one of your parents is married at least twice.

You have a stepfather or stepmother

You are a single parent

You call your office a workplace

Use irritating words like salesperson, layperson, draftsperson, superhuman instead of normal correct words like salesman, laymen, draftsman and superman

You work in sales and marketing department of any company

Complain against the spicy smells coming out of the house your Asian neighbor, but do not mind cooking foul smelling burgers in open

Do not know how to use computer properly, and have to rely on "dummies" series to learn computers

Drink Coca-Cola instead of water

Can watch an Eddy Murphy or Austin Power movie without getting bored

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WISH

A man was walking along a Goa beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.

The genie said "OK, OK. You released me from the lamp ... blah, blah, blah ... this is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of all these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!"

The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Sri Lanka but I am scared to fly and I get very sea sick. Could you build me a bridge to Sri Lanka so that I can drive over there to visit?"

The genie laughed and said, " That's impossible! Think of the logistics of that. How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Indian Ocean? Think of how much concrete...how much steel! NO. Think of another wish."

The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women ... know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment ... know why they're crying, what they really want when they say 'nothing' ... know how to make them truly happy."

The genie said, "You want the bridge two lane or four?"

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Barjish Masara went to US & had a meeting with Bill Clinton.

Bill : I want to show you the US advancement. come with me . (he takes him in a deep forest)

Bill : dig the ground.

Barjish did it.

Bill : more..more..more...

(Barjish went upto 100 feet)

Bill : so now , try to search something.

Barjish : i got a wire.

Bill: you know, it shows that even 200 years ago we used to have telephones.

Barjish became frustrated. he invited Bill to india.

NEXT YEAR BILL VISITS INDIA

Barjish : i want to show you our advancement the same, he takes Bill in forest .

Barjish : dig it .

Bill does.

Barjish : more ..more ..more ..........

(Bill goes upto almost 400 feet..)

Barjish : try to find something.

Bill tries.

Barjish : did you get anything ?

Bill : no.

Barjish : yes, even 400 years ago we used to have WIRELESS

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question: who is a true politician?

Answer: One who doublecrosses his bridges when he comes to them.

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LION CATCH

SUBJECT: 7 WAYS TO CATCH THE LION....

1. Newton's Method: Let the lion catch you. For every action there is equal and opposite reaction. Implies you caught lion.

2. Einstein Method: Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion. Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will get tired soon.

3. Schrodinger Method: At any given moment,there is a positive probability that lion to be in the cage. So set the trap, sit down and wait.

4. Inverse Transformation Method: We place a spherical cage in the forest and enter it. Perform an inverse transformation with respect to lion. Lion is in and we are out.

5. Thermodynamic Procedure: We construct a semipermeable membrane, which allows everything to pass it except lions. Then sweep the entire forest with it,

6. Intergration Differentiation Method: Integrate the forest over the entire area. The Lion is some where in the forest. So differentiate the result PARTIALLY with reference to trace out the lion.

7.BANTA SINGH'S METHOD: DO NOT EVER TRY, YOU WILL GET CAUGHT BY THE LION.

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A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small

rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do

nothing all day long?"

The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground

below the crow, and rested.

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story is:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

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A typical customer support example:

Dear Sir:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Pokernight 10.3 and Beerbash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0 but "UNINSTALL" does not work on this program. Can you help me?

John Doe

Dear Customer:

This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program. In fact, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under " WARNINGS : Alimony & Child Support."

I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best course of action will be to push the "Apologize" button then reset button as soon as lockup occurs. Your system will run smoothly as long as you accept the blame for all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program but is very maintenance - intensive.

Best of luck.

Computer Support

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A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?"

To this the man replies, "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai, 'Wash Basin' ".

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Four major executives from various countries are playing golf together on the second tee when they hear a phone ring. The Canadian executive reaches into his bag and pulls out a cellular phone. "OK buy 1000 Microsoft shares." The Canadian tells the other person on the phone, then hangs up. He then says to the others, "I'm such an important person that I have to make sure my employees can reach me at any time. Therefore I carry a cell phone everywhere."

On the third tee, they hear another phone. All of a sudden the American puts

his finger to his mouth and his thumb to his ear and begins talking. When he

gets off the line he tells the others, "I'm so important that I had my company install a microphone in my index finger and a speaker in my thumb. That way, I don't have to worry about carrying a cellular telephone." The people are impressed and move on. When they get to the green, they hear another phone ring. The German guy stands up tall and says, "OK sell the company now." He loosens up and tells the others, "I'm so important that I had my company put a microphone in my lip and a speaker in my ear. That way all I need to do is stand up straight to get the signal." Everybody is really impressed and they continue

playing. As the next tee they hear another phone ring. All of a sudden the Japanese executive runs into the bushes. After a few minutes, the others get worried about him so they go into the bushes. The Japanese guy is in the bushes with his pants around his legs and squatting as if to take a dump. "Oh, we're sorry," the American executive exclaims, "We'll leave you alone."

"That's OK," the Japanese executive says, "I'm just waiting for a fax."

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A politician, who was very small-sized, was often derided by an opponent, a tall, well-built man. One day the opponent walked up to him, looked down sneering and said loudly, "You know, I could just swallow you up!"

"In that event," said the little fellow, looking up, "you would have more brains in your stomach than you'll ever have in your head!"

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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro- English".

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly,this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favor of the 'k'. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replased with the 'f'. This will make words like fotograf' 20% shorter!

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and

'w' wiz 'v'. During ze fifz year ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and similar changes vud of kurs be aplid to ozer kombinations of

leters. After ze fifz yer ve vil hav a rali sensibl ritn styl. Zer vil be no mor

trubl or difikultis and evriun vil find it ezi tu undrstand ech ozer.

ZEN Z DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!

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Micro Logic

There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and an Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.

The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred.

The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.

Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, "Why don't we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it'll work!"

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Was God an Engineer?

An electrical, a mechanical and a civil engineer all sat down one day to try and decide of which of their faculties god must be to design the human body.

The electrical engineer says god must be an electrical engineer, for you only have to look at the complex nervous system powered be electrical

impulses.

The mechanical engineer was sure that god must be a mechanical engineer, for the advanced mechanical systems, the heart a pump, the veins

pipes and the tendons and muscles an advanced pulley system.

Finally after hearing the civil engineers arguments, both the mechanical and electrical engineer both agreed that god must be a civil engineer, for who else would run a sewer system through a recreational area!

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Top Ten Reasons to Date An Engineer

10) They are used to all nighters

9) They get to learn what all those buttons on your calculator are for

8) They are always willing to experiment

7) They know how to decrease and increase friction

6) They know all about heat transfer

5) They do it with more torque

4) Engineering couples have better moments

4b) They know how to deal with stress and strain

3) They know how to test their rigid cantelevers

2) "Lubrication, Friction, and Wear" is really a class

And the number one reason to date an engineer....

1) They design and build larger erections

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Are You An Engineer?

You Might Be An Engineer...

If you introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife"

If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner

If you want an 8X CDROM for Christmas

If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE

If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place

If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys

If you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car

If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than

hanging coats and taping ducts

If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies

If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run

If you don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is

If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven

If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush

If you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside

If a team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception

If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts

If you have never backed-up your hard drive

If you are aware that computers are actually only good for playing games, but are afraid to say it out loud

If you see a good design and still have to change it

If the thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters your mind

If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires

If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal

If you have more toys than your kids

If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary

If you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting

if your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone

If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life

If you spend more on your home computer than your car

If you know what http:/ stands for

If your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory

If choosing to buy flowers for your girlfriend or upgrading your RAM is a moral dilemma.

If you take a cruise so you can go on a personal tour of the engine room.

If the sales people at the local computer store can't answer any of your questions.

If you bought your wife a new CD-ROM drive for her birthday.

If you comment to your wife that their straight hair is nice and parallel.

If you sit backwards on the Disneyland rides to see how they do the special effects.

If you spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring.

If your wife hasn't the foggiest idea of what you do at work.

If you've already calculated how much you make per second.

If you have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.

If you've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.

If you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.

If you can translate English into Binary.

If you consider ANY non-science course "easy."

If when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.

If the "fun" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.

If you'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math easier.

If you understood more than five of these indicators.

If you make a hard copy of this list, and post it on your door.

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First I searched John on Yahoo. Then I tried Lycos and Alta Vista. There after I searched through Infoseek. Finally I discovered him in the bathroom.

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Joke on e-commerce.

Three beggars are begging in New York City. The first one wrote, "beg" on his broken steel cup and he received ten bucks after one day. The second one wrote "beg.com" on his cup and after one day he received hundreds of thousand dollars. Someone even wanted to take him to NASDAQ. The third one wrote "e-beg" on his cup. Both IBM and HP sent vice presidents to talk to him about a strategic alliance and offered him free professional consulting.

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What you gave your wife on her birthday?

15 MB web space!

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Jack, come here. I want to talk with you for a minute, OFFLINE!

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A Guide to 'Help Wanted' Ads

Ever look at the Help Wanted ads and wonder what they REALLY mean? Here is our guide to Job Search Lingo:

"Competitive Salary"

We remain competitive by paying you less than our competition.

"Join our fast-paced company"

We have no time to train you.

"Casual work atmosphere"

We don't pay enough to expect that you will dress up; a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

"Some overtime required"

Some every night and some every weekend.

"Duties will vary"

Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"Must have an eye for detail"

We have no quality assurance.

"Career-minded"

Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

"Apply in person"

If you're old, fat or ugly, you'll be told that the position has been filled.

"Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience"

You'll need it to replace the three people who just quit.

"Problem-solving skills a must"

You're walking into perpetual chaos.

"Requires team leadership skills"

You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

"Good communication skills"

Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

The other side of the coin ....

Phrases for you to use in an interview:

"I'm extremely adept at all manner of office organization"

I've used Microsoft Office.

"I'm honest, hard-working and dependable"

I pilfer office supplies.

"I take pride in my work"

I blame others for any mistakes.

"I'm personable"

I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to co-workers.

"I am very adaptable"

I've changed jobs a lot.

"I am constantly on the go"

I'm never at my desk.

"I'm highly motivated to succeed"

The minute I find a better job, I'm outta here.

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If an OS Ran an Airline

IF OPERATING SYSTEMS RAN THE AIRLINES - by J. Hovind

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about WHAT kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on ...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off.

After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

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Work vs Prison

In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8'x10' cubicle.

At work you spend most of your time in a 6'x8' cubicle.

In prison you get 3 meals a day.

At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

In prison you get time off for good behavior.

At work you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.

In prison you can watch TV and play games.

At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

In prison you get your own loot.

At work you have to share.

In prison they allow your family and friends to visit.

At work you can't even speak to your family and friends.

In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required.

At work you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.

In prison you spend most of your time looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out.

At work you spend most of your time wanting to get out and inside bars.

In prison you can join many programs which you can leave at any time.

At work there are some programs that you can never get out of.

In prison there are wardens who are often sadistic.

At work we have managers.

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physicist vs engineer

A Physicist and an Engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Physicist leans over to the Engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game.

The Engineer just wants to take a nap,so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The Physicist persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lotta fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $5."

Again, the Engineer politely declines and tries to get to sleep. The Physicist now somewhat agitated, says, "OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50!" This catches the Engineer's attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game.

The Physicist asks the first question. "What's the distance from Earth to Neptune?" The Engineer doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five-dollar bill and hands it to the Physicist.

Now, it's the Engineer's turn. He asks the Physicist "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?"

The Physicist looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. He sends e-mail to his co-workers -- all to no avail. After about an hour, he wakes the Engineer and hands him $50. The Engineer politely takes the $50 and turns away to try to get back to sleep. The Physicist, more than a little miffed, shakes the Engineer and asks, "Well, so what's the answer?"

....without a word, the Engineer reaches into his wallet, hands the Physicist $5, and turns away to get back to sleep.

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Job Placement Test

A new assessment exercise...

Does your organization struggle with the problem of properly fitting people to jobs? Here is a handy hint for ensuring success in job placement.

Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave them alone for two hours, without any instruction. At the end of that time, go back and see what they are doing.

 

If they have taken the table apart in that time, put them in Engineering.

If they are counting the butts in the ashtray, assign them to Accounting.

If they are screaming and waving their arms, send them off to Manufacturing.

If they are talking to the chairs, Personnel is a good spot for them.

If they are sleeping, they are Management material.

If they are writing up the experience, send them to Tech Pubs.

If they don't even look up when you enter the room, assign them to Security.

If they try to tell you it's not as bad as it looks, send them to Marketing.

And if they've left early, put them in Sales.

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Managers and engineers!

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me. Can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man below says, "Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude."

"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.

"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."

The man below says, "You must be a manager."

"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," says the man below, "you don't know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."

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One kid was telling to another, "I'm never going to have kids, I hear they take nine month's to download!

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Here is some C Programming language structure definitions of women.


struct female_professionals
{
double styles;
short skirts;
long time_to_understand_problems;
float mind;
void knowledge;
char non_co-operative;
}

struct married_females
{
double weight;
short tempered;
long gossip;
float hopes;
void word;
char unstable;
}

struct engaged_females
{
double time_on_phone;
short attention_on_work;
long boast;
float on_cloud_nine;
void understanding;
char edgy;
}

struct newly_married_females
{
double dinner_invitation;
short time_at_work;
long lunch_break;
void bank_balance;
char hen_pecked;
}

struct husband_wife_professionals
{
double income;
short tempered;
long time_no_see_each_other;
void love_life;
char money_making;
}

struct beautiful_city_girl
{
double boyfriends;
short affairs;
long stories;
void greymatter;
char flirt;
}

struct old_lady
{
double chin ;
short memory;
long sighs ;
void attention_from_men;
char chatterbox;
}

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Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Discoverer: Adam Eden warden
Atomic mass: Accepted as 53.6 kg; isotopes vary from
40 - 200 kg
Occurrence: Copious quantities in all urban areas

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Surface usually covered with thin painted film
2. Boils at room Temperature
3. Freezes without any known reason
4. Melts if given special treatment
5. Bitter if incorrectly used
6. Found in various states, ranging from metals to common ore
7. Ductile
8. Yields to pressure applied at correct points

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Have great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones and
absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
2. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and
for no known reason
3. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by
saturation in alcohol
4. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man

COMMON USES:

1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation
3. Very effective cleaning agent

TESTS:

1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen

POTENTIAL HAZARDS:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
2. Illegal to posses more than one, although several
can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens
do not come into direct contact with each other

!!! WARNING !!!

PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE
FINANCIAL HAEMORRHAGING AND MENTAL DISTRESS. BE CAUTIOUS !

NOTE:
New properties are still being discovered. Please wait
for updates. If you have found some properties not listed above,
please advise us.

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An Anagram, as you all know, is a word or phrase made by transposing or rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. The following are exceptionally clever.

Someone out there either has far too much time to waste or is deadly at scrabble. Wait till you see the last one!

Dormitory

When you rearrange the letters: Dirty Room

Evangelist

When you rearrange the letters: Evil's Agent

Desperation

When you rearrange the letters: A Rope Ends It

The Morse Code

When you rearrange the letters: Here Come Dots

Slot Machines

When you rearrange the letters: Cash Lost in 'em

Animosity

When you rearrange the letters: Is No Amity

Mother-in-law

When you rearrange the letters: Woman Hitler

Snooze Alarms

When you rearrange the letters: Alas! No More Z's

A Decimal Point

When you rearrange the letters: I'm a Dot in Place

The Earthquakes

When you rearrange the letters: That Queer Shake

Eleven plus two

When you rearrange the letters: Twelve plus one

And for the grand finale:

PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA

It can be rearranged (with no letters left over, and using each letter only once) into: TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS

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Read this "HATE letter". It is so funny and creative.
This is a love letter from a boy to a girl.... However, the girl's
father does not like him and want them stop the relationship......

So the boy wrote this letter to the girl.

1 "The great love that I have for you
2 is gone, and I find my dislike for you
3 grows every day. When I see you,
4 I do not even like your face;
5 the one thing that I want to do is to
6 look at other girls. I never wanted to
7 marry you. Our last conversation
8 was very boring and has not
9 made me look forward to seeing you again.
10 You think only of yourself.
11 If we were married, I know that I would find
12 life very difficult, and I would have no
13 pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
14 to give, but it is not something that
15 I want to give to you. No one is more
16 foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
17 able to care for me and help me.
18 I sincerely want you to understand that
19 I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
20 if you think this the end. Do not try
21 to answer this. Your letters are full of
22 things that do not interest me. You have no
23 true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
24 I do not care for you. Please do not think that
25 I am still your boyfriend."

So bad!!However, the boy told the girl before to "READ BETWEEN
THE LINES", meaning -- only to read 1.3.5.7.9.11.13 (odd no.)
So..Please try reading it again! It's so smart & sweet.... :)

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